Well I have a week to go here in heaven. And it is heaven in many ways - for the past 3 months I've been living with the man, unemployed (this wasn't a good thing to start off with but now i see that i needed the break and time out) so doing whatever i fancy (as long as it doens't cost too much!) and generally chilling out and thinking a lot. I've had a lot to think about. I feel more at peace with my family situation and the idea of marriage and I feel a stronger person for it. I'm also more head over heels in love with the man than ever and am very happy. Although like I said, heaven ends in a week. The rent ends on the perfect little cottage we've been renting in the countryside, and I need to head back to my parents place to get my stuff sorted out for heading abroad for the rest of the year in exactly 2 weeks time. And there's a family wedding - which i'm not freaking out about! I know, check me out.

And then there's the tiny issue of my weight (this seems to be a bit of a summary post of everything I've achieved in the last 3 months so I may as well cover everything) - well not exactly tiny haha. I'm not at my biggest, I'm by no means at my smallest, in actual fact I'm pretty much where I was 3 months ago, which does mean I've 'kept' my lovely christmas stuffing BUT I feel better about my body than I have done for ages, but funnily enough I feel better naked generally than clothed. Probably partly cos a lot of my clothes are a little tight. But I hope that with some attention over the summer I can lose about a stone and be about a more normal weight again. It doesn't seem quite such an issue now though, which considering I have an extremely troubled relationship with food, is definitely a good thing. I have most definitely come to realise that I want to get back to a healthy weight (about a stone off as I said) BUT I am the kind of person who would rather enjoy their curves, their body, their food and their life rather than counting calories or watching what I ate constantly. Does posh spice ever smile? Well exactly I think I've made my point.

So continuing the summary post bit, this crossroads. I feel like I've made a few decisions. I'm going to list them because they're important to me and lists look important:

1) I don't want to be unemployed again for a long period (like months) unless unavoidable and I won't do it in the middle of nowhere again either.

2) I need to travel, it's far more than a want. I don't want to put it off much longer either.

3) One day I want to have a house with the man and have a few kittens. This may sound simple and obvious but for the two of us who are lucky to be in the same country for 3 months a year it would again be heaven. The kittens are important too.

4) At the moment the first 3 are more important to me than establishing some kick ass city career which I may or may not go for one day but I still kinda maybe feel that I should do just for the experience sometime. And money.

That's as far as I've gotten, but I feel like I have a little more shape to my life now and a few priorities a bit more sorted for the coming year or so.

Yay!